Teen Depression: I Have Scars But I’m a Survivor!

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BY Anon

Depression has gotten a lot more common, with 15/16 year olds reporting they frequently feel anxious or depressed. It has doubled in the last 30 years, from 1 in 30 to 2 in 30 for boys, and from 1 in 10 to 2 in 10 for girls.

What is depression? Depression is more then just a sad day as it can be a lifetime thing. It’s known as a serious mental health disorder, with causes due to family conflict, peer problems, bullying in school, a recent death, or even physical abuse. A few symptoms can be sadness, moodiness, lack of interest, tiredness, no motivation, negative thoughts and sleeping problems.

I’ve had depression since I was 13, but first got diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 18.

Yes, I’ve done the whole ‘I want to end my life; it’s not worth it’. I’ve jumped out of a window in a 2 storey building, managing to not even come out with a broken bone. I’ve also overdosed on medication I had laying around the house. I didn’t care what it was; I just took it and hoped for the best but I only made myself sick. And I’ve cut my wrist just so I could feel some sort of pain.

After doing all this, all I could think was ‘Is it truly worth it?’

I try to fight the voice in my head and say ‘No, it wasn’t worth it’, but the voice would say ‘Next time do a better job and end all your pain and hurt’.

In the past I’ve written a suicide letter to my family and friends, and I’ve written heaps to my brother just because I cant find the right words to tell him without him being angry at me.

I wanted to end my life so I can be with the one person I love, my father. My father passed away when I was 6, and as I got older I avoided doing anything with my mum and sat in my room and listened to music all day everyday. At school I got told to ‘go die’, ‘you’re worthless’, and ‘no one wants you here’. I put up with that for a good 8 years and now that I’m out of school I find it hard making friends and moving on from the hell I went through.

I have scars but I’m a survivor and all I can do is continue fighting it and hope I come out on top.

Depression isn’t a good thing and no one should have to go through it but it’s one of those things that anybody can suffer.

Watch out for the signs of depression and get in early to get help. You don’t want to leave it too late. You CAN survive it.

For more information on help, check www.headspace.org.au or www.kidshelpline.com.au. Otherwise contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

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